Trail Talk

  • Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.

    This past weekend was a two-faced monster I had to confront once again. Trying to compete at a high level in the sport of ultra running can be so confusing. I’ve been on what seems like the top of the world for brief moments, and I’ve been in the deepest darkest hole of self-doubt and frustration. It seems ridiculous that sport can cause such emotion and identity. I’m still collecting my thoughts and feelings from Javelina, where in one day, I went through basically everything I have felt throughout my running career.

    Javelina Jundred. Golden Ticket race. I went into this race with some sort of confidence I haven’t experienced since the days of running track and eyeing the sub 4 min mile. My Fitness was incredible. I was healthy, happy, and most of all, hungry to find a spot back in the Western States 100. I started the race off incredibly comfortable, hanging out in the pack and seeing how things unfold for the first 20 miles. I came out of the aid station after the first loop in second place. Spend a good 8 miles running and chatting with Jacob Puzey. During that 8 miles, I noticed some serious pain coming from my achilles and heel. I thought maybe this was just some weird thing that would pass, but with each and every step, the pain worsened. I became so annoyed and let my emotions take over. I ran the last 8 miles of the second loop in a furry and pissed off, clicking off 6-6:30 miles telling myself just get to the aid station where my crew was and we can figure this out. Once I arrived, I sat down, and it sunk in how bad it was actually feeling. Knowing these things happen in races, I did my best to just take a minute, collect my thoughts, and try to come up with a solution. After sitting down for about 5 min, I got up and carried on. I got about 1/2 mile out of the aid station and turned back. I figured I would change my shoes and see if that made a difference. Changed shoes, and off I went again. The pain was worse. About 1/2 mile out of the aid station, I decided to stop and walk back to my crew tent and call it a day. On my walk back with my head down, I realized something that I think I’ve always known, but it really hit home more than ever…..

    The trail community is the fucking best. While walking back to my crew tent, Dakota Jones, who was leading the men’s race, stopped and literally walked with me for a minute to make sure everything was ok. In what other sport does the eventual winner stop what he is doing and take time out of his cour record run to make sure I was ok?!? That half-mile walk back was incredible, not only Dakota but probably a dozen or so other runners and fans made sure to take the time to stop and check on me. I don’t know where I’m going with this other than the fact that it ignited something in me. I went from being pretty down and out and questioning everything I was doing to realizing that I could never compete again and I would still find a way to be involved in this incredible sport and around these amazing people.

    There is a silver lining in most things. I’m looking at what most people would think of this being a “disaster of a day” to actually it is a moment of reflection. The pressure I’ve put on myself to run a certain way and win certain races at the end of the day doesn’t matter. It’s this community and all the love and support in it that makes all of this so special. So with that, I will continue on with my dream, knowing that whatever outcomes may be, there is greater meaning to it than earning a gadamn ticket painted in Gold.

  • New Beginnings

    New Beginnings

    I’ve wanted to blog for a while now. I’m not sure what has been keeping me from starting. Maybe my shit writing skills or a weird sense of imposter syndrome when it comes to sharing my life with everyone through a blog form of social media. Either way, I’m here, and I hope you all can get some joy out of it!

    When I first got into running, blogs were my primary source of education and entertainment. After reading about Anton’s adventures, be it up Green Mountain or flying down mosquito pass, I felt like I could go out and train like a madman, all while jamming out to his music suggestions. It will be interesting to see where this blog goes. My guess is it will mostly be word vomit about my running. I hope to inspire a few of you and elevate the trail-running community through that. Let’s get started…..

    I titled this first entry as New Beginnings. I’ve made significant life changes over the last few months to better my mental health and regain control of my life which was starting to spin out of control. Some of those changes were small, and some were really big. The biggest is my decision to stop coaching. This was not a decision I took lightly, but I knew it needed to be made if I was going to gain control of my life again. As many know, I’ve battled plenty with depression and PTSD post-military. I will probably go into more detail about that time of my life in a later post. However, I didn’t want to end up back in that state, and I could tell I was quickly heading that way if changes were not made. The focus as of late has been to get back to a place where stress is low, home life is good, and running is as fun as ever. It’s all a work in progress, but things are looking up now!

    My wife Lauren and I moved back to Boulder, Colorado, in April. Since then, I have reunited with some close friends and am enjoying this fantastic community. The trail-running community here is like nowhere else. I’ve been doing a lot of training with my close friends Adam Merry, Drew Holmen, and Seth Ruhling. This recently has turned into a lil trail team that has been coined the “Boulder Boys,” or as I’ve seen some people post, the “Boulder Bros.” We have no idea where this will go, but we are having fun with it and enjoy training together under the guidance of David Roche. Hopefully, we will get a little content out for everyone to enjoy and maybe even expand on that in the future. For right now, the four of us are all very focused on our upcoming races. Seth and I will be racing this weekend. Seth is running the 100k at UTMB Mexico, and I will be out at Javelina. Adam Will be running in the World 80k trail champs in Thailand in a few weeks, and Drew will be out at Ultra Trail Cape Town racing the 100k. Everyone is incredibly fit right now. We have high hopes of running well, but as everyone knows, ultra running is a gamble every time you line up, and the outcome can be many different things.

    Since returning from Chamonix in September, I’ve been focused on gearing up for Javelina. I came off of CCC with an incredible aerobic base that translated well to some of the more uptempo threshold running I’ve been doing in prep. I’ve gotten to do some of my favorite types of training during this block with extensive workouts on Magnolia Rd, fun back-to-back long run days, and even a 50k race here in Colorado! I feel about as ready as I can be for 100 miles in the desert.

    I am hopeful Javelina will be a fast race, and we can put on a show. I don’t think I have ever toed the line with so many experienced 100-mile racers, so this should be a real treat. If you want to follow along, you can watch the live stream here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HmakJBq6A7Y.

    I will post more about training and any significant life updates in the future. If you would like, you can follow along through my other social media platforms linked below.

    “Growth is uncomfortable; you have to embrace the discomfort if you want to expand.” – Jonathan Majors

    https://www.strava.com/pros/14169827

    https://www.instagram.com/mattdaniels480/

    https://twitter.com/MattDaniels480